Positive Progress

(Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder) My eating disorder began back when I was in high school. I purchased a prom dress in the fall of my senior year, way ahead of time. In the second half of the school year I got a boyfriend. So, naturally, I put on some weight as a result of us eating out and enjoying each other’s company. When prom season rolled around I realized that my dress no longer fit.  My mom told me that I needed to lose the weight because she was not buying me another one. In that moment, my eating disorder was born. What started as a crash diet for prom would soon become much more in the coming months and years.  I was addicted to it.  As someone who lacked control in their life as a child I loved the fact that I had control over my body and what I was eating.

This continued for years until one day I literally woke up and decided I didn’t want to live like this anymore. Something I think people don’t understand is that it didn’t matter how many times people told me to get better. It wasn’t going to happen until I decided that it was time to get better. My bones didn’t hurt anymore and I had so much energy – I really liked that and wanted those feelings continue. I was also falling in love at the time and I had so much positivity in my life as this was all happening. Although, when I had finally mentally gotten over my eating disorder, I had run into some medical problems. As a result of malnourishing my body for years my stomach could no longer digest food the way it was supposed to. After being told by many doctors that there was nothing wrong with me physically and that I was still suffering from my eating disorder I finally found a surgeon that gave me the attention I needed and completed two surgeries in order for me to fully regain my life.Today, I can happily say that my mind is only consumed by positive progress thoughts.  Looking back, I was never excited about having my full life ahead of me because I wasn’t feeling well, I wasn’t eating, or talking to my family. Now, I am optimistic about the future and so excited about what is to come. I no longer fear food and instead I use it as means to measure how I am feeling everyday! – Jess T.